My Boyfriend is Having Dinner Tonight with a Home-Wrecking Whore

I’m so angry, I don’t even know what words I want to type out. I can’t make much sense of the humble-jumbled thoughts whizzing around my head. I want to act. I want to act angrily which is never good. I want to do crazy-girl things. I won’t of course. I’m too dignified these days for that; too grown up. So I shall type instead. I’ll let my fingers do the talking.

Casually skimming through Facebook on this dreary Saturday afternoon and guess what I come across. Oh yes, yet another highly fucking inappropriate post on his wall from that godamn chick again. That godamn chick who seems intent on ruining my relationship, it would seem. Well, I reckon she’s gone and done it today. I was already on the fence about him and today I realised his life has too many women in it already. I realised that the other day but it was reiterated today. He doesn’t need me in his life. He’s got enough complications already. As have I. Too many complications for this kind of childish bullshit behaviour.

The post seems innocent enough except it’s not innocent at all. I am well aware of how much she wants him because he tells me about it every time he brings her up in conversation which apparently, is every fucking day. There is a reason he is single – it is because he doesn’t know how to behave in a relationship or if he does, he pretends otherwise just to piss me off. He uses the ‘other women’ in his life in a game. I think he tries to make me jealous to try and get me to react. I don’t react. I don’t act jealous. I’m cool, calm, collected. I have cool, casual, collected conversations when I’m annoyed or upset about stuff. I have a pretty mature outlook on relationships from the outside. On the inside, I’m a fucking mess.

I am very fucking aware that there is history between the two of them because he has rammed it down my throat. I don’t know the exact specifics of it all but I would imagine they’ve fucked. Or gotten very fucking close to. From their previous Facebook chat, I feel I know a bit too much about what happens when they drink together without her kids which is apparently what’s going down tonight.

Excellent.

“Looking forward to a catch up with an old friend tonight. Even getting dinner cooked for me. Really, we should have gone to the cinema (insert her fucking pet name for him here) and then it really would have been a throwback to the pre-children days lol!”

Are you fucking kidding me?

So she’s going to his house without the kids and he’s cooking her dinner? There’s going to be booze because he drinks EVERY DAY and as we’ve already learned from the first very public fucking chat, they can’t be trusted drinking together. Doesn’t this just spell disaster? Also, why would she put that on Facebook? She’s female. If I were to write something like that about her fella, I’m sure she wouldn’t appreciate it. Oh yes, she doesn’t have a fella. She does have two kids with a married man though. Home-wreaking whore. She probably put it up there to get a reaction. After all, didn’t I ‘like’ the last post?

Fuck. My boyfriend is having dinner tonight with a home-wrecking whore. Let’s just allow a moment for that to sink in.

I don’t really know if we can find a way out of this. Too much is going on, has gone on. There are too many other women in his life, none of which I trust, and all of which he’s given me pretty bad first impressions of. They’ve either tried it on with him, or they’ve got some sort of weird history. Even his work colleagues aren’t safe. I just don’t really know if this is something I want to be a part of. I prefer my relationships much simpler. Remember what happened with Jock and the complicated ex situation. I really can’t be assed to go through all that bullshit again.

Ironically, the exact song that’s playing right now is Carrie Underwood – Before He Cheats.

Hmmmm. 

But yeah, tonight my boyfriend is having dinner with a home-wrecking whore. This should be interesting.